24.4.04

[It's been 2 Months and 4 Days since my last Outburst]

HELLO MY FANS!!!

...miss me???...
lol..

Sorry for not posting for so long.. school has really taken up most of my time, and the fact that on weekends I either have homework, clean the house, or if I'm lucky, I have some sort of Party to go to...
gR.. Grades could be better..
Biology: C
English: B
Drama: A
Heath: B
Geometry: C
French: A
...
the damn C's!! x.X
I don't like Bio and Geometry anymore.. Bio- the tests always have two parts; a B+ on one, and a C/D on the other.. Geometry- Quizes= A, Chapter Tests= D..
damnit!
anyway.. how have I been despite the school and grades..
Life could be better;
Boyfriend-less (still)
Girlfriend-less (girls think I'm ugly, too)

...At least I have my friends!...
who either: have a boyfriend/girlfriend, good grades, or extremely happy.. OR extremely UNhappy which gives me no time for MY self-loath.. *sigh*

'Shmoo': has a boyfriend; he's really despressed and tries to commit suicide since he thinks he's hated by all (including her), but he's really cute and funny, but hates me.. *sigh*
Me-> "Why do you hate me?"
'Shmoo' b/f-> "I don't hate you..." he mumbles as he trudges away and probably says to himself, "I strongly Dislike you.."
Me (MY turn for mumbling!)-> "stupid @$%^&*! LIAR...! @x @x @x [skull and cross bones] x.x -die!.."
'Shmoo'-> "He thinks that you don't like him.. blah blah blah.. when I spoke to him last night, he was saying how nobody likes him and none would care if he died, and I mentioned yours and Alix's name and he said that he think you guys don't like him."
Me-> ..@$%^*!.. "I think he doesn't like me!"

stupid vicious cycle..
I really do think he doesn't quite like Alix, though.. she does too, but we don't know..

Ruth is just ALWAYS happy.. and is liked by 'Mr. Suicide'(Shmoo b/f) in a "friendship way" ..Alix and I think he really likes her, but OBVIOUSLY not as much as he loves 'Shmoo'..
He doesn't seem to trust 'Shmoo', currently..
Some 'assole', Wesley, likes her and she USED to like him and he was trying to steal her away and would hit on her and try to kiss her and stuff so she'd dump 'Mr. Suicide' and blah blah blah.. she told him to back off and wouldn't kiss him, but 'Mr. Suicide' thinks she did kiss him even though she TOLD him about how the 'assole' likes her in the first place and asked to kiss her..
he sorta has a reason to question, since she cheated on him first semester with 'some guy' she used to like before they went out, and then the 'some guy' started to like her AFTER she got with 'Mr. Sucide' and he came over and they made out because she and b/f hadn't kissed yet and she really wanted a kiss, but she soon stopped him and he went home. she ended up telling him, but they didn't break up anyway..
but it doesn't make sense for him to suspect her when she came out and told him right away and blah blah blah..
I think it's all good now..
NOT FOR ME!!

Alix doesn't have a b/f either and she and I have this private joke that if 'Shmoo' was run over by a car, and she had a big tire streak on her head and her hair all screwed up, guys would pass right by us and ignore us all ready for prom in formal dresses with make-up and crap and go straight to Shmoo and would go out with her and start hitting on her, telling her how beautiful she looked.. x.X

I like a friend of 'Mr. Suicide's' whose really cute and funny and perverted (just like 'Shmoo's' b/f, 'Mr. S') ..let's just say his name is 'John'.. anyway I've liked him a bit, every since school started, especially this semester.. he doesn't talk to me, nor I him, but we're near by working in the same group or something we'll start talking.. like during an AIDS assemby in school, he was making comments and talking about perverted stuff... he'd say something and then I'd have commentary on what he'd say and he'd look at me and talk and make a comeback to my commentary.. blah, blah.. for one assignment there's four people in one group (me, 'John', 'Mr. Suicide', and our friend Nat, who is perverted, and really close -friendship wise- with 'Mr. Suicide' and 'John'.. them three talk forever and ever like they do with other people and friends besides Alix and I.. 'Shmoo' and Ruth can just talk to 'Mr. Suicide' and 'John' the same way they talk with Alix and I.. and Ruth even LIKES 'John'! Alix and I, for some reason can't talk as calmly to 'Mr' and 'John', like we do our other girl friends).. but in that group, I just listen as Nat, 'Mr', and 'John' talk back and forth, and I'll ask little questions, "what did you get on the test? blahblahblah" and comments.. but other than that.. nothing.. in Heath, 'John' sits in the row on my left side two seats up and I occasionally throw a look over at the back of his head. today, during the movie we watched, I was looking at the back of his head, spacing out, and when the movie had said something perverted-like, and I was laughing while spacing out, he turned his head to the right (towards my side) smiling a laugh and I quickly smiled a laughed, turned my head to the right so as not to directly face my face to his and have his side vision see me staring towards him. er.. good night.. I'm tired.. it's 5:02am here.. I need sleep. night.

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