19.1.07

[1 Day since my Last Outburst]

Don't get your hopes up.

You know what I hate?
Forgetting a birthday.
It was my mother's birthday today.

I remembered Wednesday when I was reminded..
But I had forgotten when it truly mattered.
I only found out when I asked why my dad got roses for my mom...
in front of my mom.

She LOL'd at my face.

This is the one woman who has done so much for me for seventeen years and at least 8 months.
She suffered for my birth (a little, but she did).
She taught me my best lessons.
She wakes up at 3:50 every school morning just to wake up my brother and me for swim pratice.
Then she drives us to practice while he and I sleep.
(For the past four years.)
She drives me virtually everywhere.
She spends so much money on me.
She helps me with college applications.
She's always tough on me. It's stressful, But it's because she really cares.

I am so grateful.
Yet I thank her by forgetting a day of celebration?

I suppose she can think of it as a relief..
Birthdays apparently aren't your most-looked forward to of the year as you get older.

I asked her, "Wow, you're fifty-four, right?"
She narrows her eyes at me and mumbles, "So you remember my age but not the day..."
I smile and hug her.

I don't know.
A simple "Happy Birthday" this morning would have been fitting.
That was all I needed to do.

She even forgot that it was her birthday until my sister gave her a bouquet of flowers and birthday wishes this morning.
My mom made her promise not to tell Steven and I.
And my dad didn't message me either.

But I'm freakin' seventeen years old.
I should start remembering things on my own now.

God.

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