5.4.07

[2 Days since my last Outburst]
ugh..

There I went, making myself think that I liked somebody.
I convinced myself quite well.
So well, that I made myself giddy when I was around him.
Yes, him.
That I actually ached when I realized that he liked someone else.
It's almost better to shove your feelings in a shell within yourself...
and never let them know...
and only spend your time dreaming...
and speculating about them liking you back...
rather than finding out that they don't like you...
and like that some one else.
But then I worked hard to get over him shortly.
To make myself know that him being with that other girl is really cute.
And it really is.

So here I go again.
Making myself think that I like somebody else.
Enough that I'd want to truly be with him.
Only to see that he may like
a some one else.
life can mock us so.

Why do I bother?
Literally two months left before school is out.
Two. Months.
After that, the likelihood of seeing anyone from school ever again is slim.
No matter where I decide to go.
So what is the point of liking anyone so late in the school year?
So close to graduation?

At least there is Europe.

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