2.10.08

[7 Months and 18 Days sine my last Outburst]
So I was thinking

You know what grinds my gears?
That someone I've never met in person can interpret what I do as flirtation...or something to the effect that I have a crush on someone else, when I don't...
and the guy that I know in person and, apparently, was so blatantly obvious about had no clue of my feelings.

It's rather frustrating.

But I'm okay. It's okay.
I'm over and done with the previous crush/obsession...

But now I'm in limbo. I see girls everywhere on campus that I'm attracted to, but I don't know them personally. I don't have that someone to fawn over at the moment.
And when I did have that intense crush, it didn't do any good.
How frustrating that I really want nothing more than to be in love and have the very same love returned to me. I want to hold hands with my romantic interest. I want to cuddle during a movie; either them behind me, or I'm behind them with my arms wrapped around their waist, pulled close. I want to be excited every time I see them or hear them talk. I want this person to make me melt and be a little smug that they're the one lucky enough to have my heart. I even want the pointless fights we will inevitably have. I want them all!

But it seems I want too much.

[As excerpted from my Xanga ~ "Born Rivals" under links]

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